Tesco complaints

I had a real horror show @ a local Tesco store recently… so much so that I started a hate website in order to promote people thinking twice before shopping at Tesco.

www.tescouncovered.com/forum

every little helps…

This sign is awesome, a polite reminder to us not to drop our paper, bottles, razor blades and what appears to be a corby trouser press into the toilet like we would normally do at home.

Boy oh boy these airlines have a high opinion of us don't they?

My wife, Jnr and I returned from Taiwan yesterday

and this single white male in his 50's sporting a mullet and acid washed denim jeans for chrissakes, joined the flight from Bangkok a pedophile in other words. Anyway it was was sitting in 35a and it couldn't sleep and decided that this would be the perfect time to open the blackout window screen despite the fact that that it was 4am (time at origin) and 90% of the plane were sleeping like babies (which probably turned this dilapidated prick on). What a selfish peedo cunt.

I have been staring at him for the past seven minutes, the blind is still open, guess I'm crap at looking mean. I would have said it was too dark for him to appreciate the effort I was putting into my mean-face, but of course that wouldn't be true because the shaft of uninterrupted sunlight that was blinding me ensured I was more than adequately illuminated. If it wanted to read, it could use the overhead light provided, the flight was nearly 12 hours and there were opportunities a-plenty to see nothing but blue sky.

Its sad that a person can get to that age and still be that way, but then again, he's rapes little children a little high altitude rudeness would be nothing to him.

I can only hope he's one of the ones that went on to abuse kids cos he was abused as a child.

I lost a challenge today :-(

A friend of mine asked if I could encapsulate in a .png file the epitome of a chinless smug little tory cunt... and try as I might, I couldn't do it folks.

So anyway.. I got over that and now I'd like to talk about Ian Hislop



I recall a dozen years ago when this 'csltc' had an edge, was perceptive and spoke for the man on the street... now he's flat, contrite and the only street he's speaking for is wall street.

He has lost all impartiality and shines his tory badge at every opportunity... He's a typical example of one who shouts loudly about what he is against, Yet offers no valuable solution. It's heartbreaking to think that thousands of 'poor' men fought and died for this 'csltc' to dishonour their memory spunk on their coffins and put his voice behind cameron getting elected so he and other like-minded csltc's pay 10% less tax.

How the beeb can sack Deyton, yet keep this csltc on the payroll, is beyond me!

Skin Flicks and chandeliers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIxf7wiUCgo

now! as a rule I like Stephen Fry, however after watching this little soundbite, I'm getting the impression that he doesn't know rat shit from rice crispies!

For fry to suggest we shouldn't care that our elected representitives are spending their time inventing ways to steal from us is mental. Just suppose you had cheated on your expenses and you claimed money to feed your porn addiction, claimed for a moat for crissakes!! Then on Monday morning your boss calls you into the office and he explains that Cathy in accounts has spotted an irregularity in your expences claim.

If you're lucky enough to keep your job, after all not many emploers are happy to know that an employee is prepared to steal from them. You can bet your ass that you'd be paying it back, or it would be deducted from your wages.

As the electorate WE are the employers of these suckling pigs and should have the right to demand they be replaced by someone who would not steal from us. Instead we put up with Blears and co telling us that they did nothing wrong and we just don't understand the pressures they suffer.

His seconday point that there are more important things going on in the world, We know that. If 'the public' consisted of just one person, I would agree that there are more urgent matters to hand. However we live in a world where we have law enforcers of every description dealing with all these other issues, leaving us free to deal with those who steal directly from us.

I still like you Stephen, but I wouldn't want to live next door to you anymore.



P.S. we all know that Jacqui Smith was sittin' right beside her husband watching the scuzzy porn and givin' him a handjob.

he fucks alright, fucks off with your dinner.

I really can't take it anymore.


This is a true story, I was waiting in line this evening in a chinese takeaway and there was a little girl with her father infront of me in the queue, (it might have been her grandfather, heck it could even have been her boyfriend Y'never know these days) she's couldn't have been more than 7 years old, but probably weighed as much as an 8 year old.... an 8 year old hippopotamus that is. This fat little bitch was scoffing a "kingsize" mars bar and glugging a bottle of full fat coke and while she was waiting for her chips (why the fuck do people go to a chinese takeaway and order just chips anyway is beyond me, but that's another story) but as she was filling her fat fucking face her dad/grandad/BF/abductor was handing her a lollipop that looked soo sweet I could tell it would be like Hisorhima on her already decayed teeth... parents like this should really be charged with child abuse.


The UK government today announced they are to invest £235m into developing childrens playgrounds, presumably because nowadays kids as obease fucking bastards that could receite the macdonalds menu faster than they could order a pizza.


£235m Y'all, so let's get it straight, that means these kids will trot around a swing park during the day and be force feed chips, chocolate and coke by night... Why on earth doesn't the government invest this money into free sports facilities and exercise equipment for adults, who will then inturn pass this health living lifestyle onto their children?

It seems like such a no-brainer to me, I don't know why nobody's suggested it before now.

You can get married at 16, you can join the army at 16, but you cannot consume alcohol at 16, now I'm asking you folks, what's with that already? can that really be fair in the 21st century? (it's not really the 21st century but I'll play ball with the Christians just for the sake of getting this blog out)

YES it is fair.

How many people actually get married at 16? NONE, there's many who get pregnant at sixteen, however rarely do they marry the 27 year old social spastic who intoxicated and impregnated them during the 15 seconds of sweet sweet lovin'... "BOY oh BOY was my little bastard worth it." I hear them cry

Sure people can join the army at 16, however anyone stupid enough to join the army at 16 is clearly harbouring violent tendencies, has a history of killing cats and masturbating in public and the last thing society needs is to add alcohol to that degenerates cocktail of social perversions.

But the fact remains, neither getting married nor filling sandbags is going to damage your still developing organs, consuming alcohol WILL. A few weeks back 2 x 12 year old girls asked me to buy them alcohol and as Y'know I'm a nice guy, I did them a favour, I took the £5 they held out and I kept it.

it's like when mothers on the Jeremy (Germany) Kyle show says... "yeah my 13 year old slaggy daughter is pregnant just like I was at 13.. but she's got to learn from her own mistakes" no no no no no NO NO!! it's YOU who must learn from your mistakes and SHARE that learning with your daughter so that her life is not as FUCKED up as yours and she not on FEKing TV in another 13 years with a caption below her.

I can't remember who, but someone one said a smart man learns from his own mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of other.

"Passengers face more train delay misery
Jan 3 2008
By Sinead Keller

THOUSANDS of rail passengers from Coventry and Warwickshire were today again facing huge delays as engineering works continue to cause chaos.

Work by Network Rail to upgrade Rugby train station on the West Coast Main Line should have been completed by Monday, but so far it has overrun by four days.

Passengers travelling from Coventry have had to use a replacement bus service to Northampton for connections to London, adding about two hours to journey times.
The disruption has also affected travellers from Warwickshire using the West Coast line through Coventry and Rugby heading for London.

Yesterday, Network Rail could not say when the works would be completed and refused to comment on reports that the line would not be operating normally until next Monday.

One employee from Network Rail, who did not wish to be named, was himself caught up in the rail chaos. He said: "I have already been travelling for more than an hour and I still have to get a bus to Rugby.

"I will be at least two hours late for work - the whole thing is a complete joke."

On top of the delays, more misery was caused when Birmingham International railway station was evacuated yesterday after a fire broke out in a kitchen.

So just to clarify folks, we now have genocide in Darfur, human trafficking, exploitation, famine, global warming, child abuse, racism, religeous intollorance, good ol' fashioned random rapes and murders and several days of train delays, not to mention kitchen fires... where will it all end?

On the day before star wars day 2007 Madeline McCann did what hundreds of non-blond haired non-white kids do every single day... not pick-pocket strangers, no, she vanished from sight.

Without making any accusation what-so-ever, her two med-school graduate parents (who are qualified to administer sedatives) left their 3 fully conscious children at home alone as they embarked on a drunken feast deep in the heart of picturesque praia da luiz.

Every millimeter of that apartment was forensically examined and there was no break-in. Hmmm now I see why the portuguese police have yet to crack this one... it is a real head-scratcher alright.

For more information and to find out what you can do to help find poor Madeline please visit www.iaccidentallyod'dmydaughterandcovereditup.com

1. he is a coward for what he did. he killed innocent people, not bullies. and then killed himself instead of giving real explanations or taking punishment like a man.

2. his parents should be checked out for their parenting

3. bullies should not be blamed because there are ways of dealing with that other than murder.

These three idiotic points were made by anon. on a web-forum clearly populated by mentally deranged republican pre-teens.

BLACKSBURG, Va. - Long before he killed 32 people in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history, Seung-Hui Cho was bullied by fellow high school students who mocked his shyness and the strange way he talked, former classmates said.

Once, in an English class, the teacher had the students read aloud and, when it was Cho’s turn, he just looked down in silence, Davids recalled in an interview with The Associated Press.
Finally, after the teacher threatened to give him a failing grade for participation, Cho started to read in a strange, deep voice that sounded “like he had something in his mouth,” Davids said.
“As soon as he started reading, the whole class started laughing and pointing and saying, ‘Go back to China,’” Davids said.

hmmmm, clearly not a hint of bullying here!

I'm sure the truth is somewhere in the middle. But it always follows events like these, the shooter is quickly labeled coward/evil/insane/marlyn manson fan in order to appease the baying mob and as you know impartial, objective understanding then becomes virtually impossible once a label has been applied.

Not that there is much lessons to be learned from this one, this one's a bit of a no-brainer... That line "...go back to China" I believe pin points the guilty parties in this story. Seung-Hui Cho is clearly a Korean name, however it demonstrates ignorance and that nobody took the time to get to know him, rather they all banded together to unite in the torment of a kid who was a little different, or even a lot different. And I'm not sticking up for him or anything here, it's just worth remembering, that like everything else that happens in this crazy mixed-up world, there is always another angle other than that which the media reports. Most people I talk to appear to adopt the first opinion they hear on any subject as their own, and scarliy they seem to have subscibed to moron tv.

Trust no-one, question everything... newspapers, magazines, TV news are all dictated to by their sponsors who in turn bow down to the mass market therefore they aim to avoid controversy at all costs. Take time to think and form your own opinions.

"The difficulty of maintaining your own beliefs in the face of others. We all have a great need for acceptance,but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own. Even though some people may think them odd or unpopular.

Robert Frost said: Two paths diverged into the woods, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

pardon my french in advance for this one.... reason #53 right there


Reason # 54 why David Cameron is a cunt

I seen this cunt (from now on that’s how he will be referred to) ANYway, I seen him ‘the cunt’ on question time and PMQ’s and he’s still raving on about how we, you and I, the voting public should demand a referendum because Tony Blair (he’s also a c word btw) did not serve a full third term and we do not have the prime minister we, you and I, the voting public elected.
Firstly we voted LABOUR and it’s a labour party we have... no need to hold a referendum. Secondly, When I voted Labour I was actually voting for Gordon Brown, I knew TB wouldn’t serve a 3rd term.. I knew it, my friends all knew it even my grandma knew it (and she’s been dead 17 years) seems like the only person who didn’t know it, or should I say the only ‘cunt’ that didn’t know it was our pal David Cameron. If he’s trying to get elected by demonstrating he’s so politically naive, he should really rethink that strategy. On the other hand, it's obvious that David Cameron’s intention this morning is to smear the prime minister in the desperate hope that the mere appearance of impropriety will win him points with the public. (guess the film)


Of course he could just be a desperate, power hungry, lying fuck.... after all we have conclusively proved that he is nothing short of a cunt, being a lying fuck would be nothing to a piece of work like him.

my beautiful baby 14 months old :)

Let me begin by stating that I actually quite like emos in a way. If for no other reason each time somebody goes emo it’s one less person turning “ned” which, I’m sure you’ll agree it never a bad thing. They like to read.... cool! And their chicks are hotter than j-lo wearing a bikini, eating a bowl of chillie, in a sauna on the sun*

So there are some plus’s to having emos living amongst us. However there are also hidden dangers to keeping an emo. 1 Don’t get them wet. 2 keep them out of direct sunlight it’ll kill ‘em. 3, Under no circumstances, whatever you do, no matter how much they beg, DO NOT feed them after midnight... no wait, that’s something else. The downside to emo keeping, apart from the obvious pretentious poetry writing... I am the prince of darkness, I am the enigma, nobody understands me, and nobody feels my pain..... Please f**k me!

The thing that gets me is this persecution complex they all harbour; people don’t like us just cos we look different. First off, they all look the same with their black uniforms and standard issue piercings/hair dye and clad in their grandparents pee soaked clothes. in reality it’s the opposite that’s true. They all tend to flock together and would never dream of befriending anybody more mainstream. I’m sure there will be one or two exceptions to this general rule; however they’re probably art students who see themselves as an ‘enid’ type looking for her Seymour project.

I reckon’ it’ll be like politics, we’ve had emo, next they will come out with ‘new emo’. As for me, I’m going to hold out for ‘real emo’




*Not including the fat pigs that dye their hair pink in order to look interesting.

they have recently opened a brand new state of the art TESCO extra near where I live which boasts a stock of over 50.000 different items, we stock everything, they say, everything that is except for a frickin' household whisk that is.

I think I may not have been the only one to have been suckered in by the notorious tesco whisk scam, I visited their mens room whilst I was there and someone had poo'd in one of the urinals, and NO! it wasn't me.... I did it in the froozen food section, natch :)

more of this rubbish can be viewed on bebo ID bebo-----1

I'm sick of all these yellow bellied, sandal wearing, anti-war campaigning, tree hugging cowards, I mean.. what's with them already?

They are always on Tony Blair and George Bush's backs and I for one am sick of it... what with thier "you took us to war on a lie" and "there are no weapons on mass destruction" Well folks, I can exclusively reveal that there were weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq, okay perhaps it's not the chemical or atomic weapons we were led to believe. but if you can imagine the mass destruction that millions of barrels of oil could cause.... well, all I can say is god bless Tony and George for confescating these weapons.

Look at them! you can almost feel the sexual tension in the air.

Patients in England may be denied treatment because of a "postcode lottery" it's catchphrases like these that are adopted quicker than an orphan on Madonna's African tour that spreads panic throughout that land. A Postcode Lottery to me suggest that it's completely arbitrary and without logic. As much as this government looks as if it's pissing in the dark most of the time, I can't pin that on them in this case. It can't be easy keeping the electorate supplied with every amenity they desire on their doorstep.... for free!

Doctors are highly trained, dedicated professionals who want nothing more than to heal the sick and to have the funds to do it. In actuality a postcode lottery simply means that as people demand more and more yet insist on paying less and less and the numberbods over at NHS central have to spend what little they have wisely.

For example, we all know that the people in the north west of England eat grease and drink oil therefore their local health authority will place a priority on treating heart disease whilst down in the south east they will no doubt be offering boob jobs to the homeless, it’s horses for courses.

Plan for the worst....... but!
Hope for the best

This is such a sad thing to say to anybody, it is the equivalent to saying "my life is completely void of hope, that no matter what, I don’t believe in my heart of hearts that things’ll ever work out for me"

I heard a priest include this mantra once in his television sermon, which gave me a wry ol’ laugh.
It’s understandable that survivors of major disasters such as the titanic or an even greater disaster ‘titanic the movie’ using this phrase, perhaps orphans, or people living in ravaged or war-torn countries have the right to say this. As for the ipod latte sippers, it’s virtually unforgivable to express such despair so flippantly and an insult to those unfortunate enough to bare true claim over it.

However I can and do forgive it, for I realise it’s symptomatic of inarticulate Britain where the many neither say what they mean or mean what they say... not really they don’t, it’s all just a jumbled repetition of jingles, sound-bites and headlines, Y’know listening to two people talk these days is like being in a room with a million televisions all showing a different soap opera.
Currently the Scotland football team are competing to qualify for the Euro 2008 finals, despite being top of their group, each time they play I have to listen to the broadcast media as well as joe public issue a warning not to raise our hopes.... in case!

What is sooo wrong with people having a little hope in their lives? Isn’t it the memory of hope and joy that drives human beings on to succeed? "don’t get your hopes up" creates an air of inevitable failure, resulting in an ‘i told you so’ which sadly provides the merchants of dooms’ with their only feelings of happiness in having correctly predicted said failure.

Those who plan for the worst, rarely ever plan for the best! Which only equips them to handle failure, (seems a little one sided) If you ask me, having a fall back plan only ever makes it easier to fall back.

For now... I’m living life without a net

When did it become noteworthy that call centres are based within the uk? why is it now 'a thing' to advertise that a companies call centre is not located in India for example?

banks, insurance companies etc have jumped on this marketing bandwagon. I've used contact centres in the uk and in other countries and by far the rudest people, with the poorest level of service I have received has been right here in the UK.



It's depressing to think that they have to mention this fact because they actually believe thier customers are sitting at home polishing thier swastikas' shaving thier heads wearing doc boots and bomber jackets and renewing thier pet insurance.

it's so blatantly racist, it makes me VOM

FATHER? FORGIVE THEM

FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!!

I am of course refering to the 2004 American Academy selection panel. Like you dear reader, I'm still in shock that Jim Caviezel wasn't even nominated for his portrayal of Jesus in Gibson's The Passion of the Christ.

It's not that I don't love Sean Penn or anything, he's one of the good guys.. it's just that JC was not only the performance of that year, it's may well be the best performance of all time.

So. c'mon OSCAR, keep it about the movies

last night I had, what I can best describe as an internal conversation with myself debating the ethics of abortion. (needless to say.. I won the debate)

when my wife was pregnant with the messiah, we were advised to undergo an amniotic fluid test, to eliminate any chromosome disorders, downs syndrome being the biggie amongst them. Naturally being 2 fairly educated people who decided to have a child, we were aware of the possible risks etc and happily took the test.

During our pre-test "council" the nurse had remarked that the tests were virtually redundant because after all, if downs was detected it wasn't as if we would get rid of our darling foetus. Actually, I said.. that's exactly what we would do, otherwise we wouldn't be taking the test in the first place.

Immediately her attitude towards us (or perhaps just me) changed. We were no longer the nervous parents in waiting, we had become the pro-child murdering tag-team. It's not that downs children aren't lovely or anything, I think I'm just not strong enough to cope and offer that child the care/love it deserves. I realise it's a failing in me, some people can do it... I know I couldn't, nor would I want to try in order to disprove what I already know to be true., that really would be playing god.

so, back to my internal dialogue, After comic relief (rednoseday.com) I'd been feeling more philanthropic than usual and started to cry thinking about all the thousands of children and adults living lives of immense pain and suffering simply because they happened to be born on a specific patch of the planet we all share.

I was trying to conclude if children with mental disabilities were better off dead.. I know, I know, I can hear all the pro-lifers right now... "who are you to decide who lives of dies blah blah blah..." I'm nobody, I'm nothing, but let's have the debate.

in 1997 a European study showed that 18% of downs babies dies before they hit double figures and the lancet reported that children with Cerebral Palsy rarely make it out of their twenties, so I was trying to reconcile the quality of life they can expect with the certain pain and grief that will undoubtably come with their untimely deaths... each morning I would be waking up thinking .. today could be the day that our little bundle of unresponsive and incontenant joy will die and possibly many parents of such children may herald that day.

So anyway, after hours of debating this subject, I concluded that keep 'em or ban 'em I didn't want one of my own, but then again I already knew that... so as it turned out, that was 2 hours of my life wasted.

I'm going to Taiwan in 3 weeks... As you would expect I've got the "night before christmas feeling" of excitement in my belly. Which brings me rather smartly to my point here.

2 weeks ago I decided to go on a little diet (to reduce the size of my butterfly belly) before jetting off... 2 weeks later, I'm 5 KGs lighter (and looking hotter than I usually do, but that's besides the point right now).

Whenever I'm asked if I've lost weight, I say.. yep... thought I'd lose a little. The reply is usually something a little like this. "I'm going to do that too, it'll be my new years resolution next year"

people who say that will never get anything done... a brand new year starts every second of every day folks and if you want to do something, you better get off your ass and do it now. Do me a favour Y'all, If you want to impress me or even keep my attention during passive conversations, don't tell me what you're 'gonna do' 'cos every single one of us is gonna do a billion different things, I myself am gonna slip on a dress, call myself Hamble and live life as a lady in guatemala or perhaps I'll have a pot noodle and a wa*k instead.

Solider sues MoD over 'wrong boots'
A woman soldier who was forced to leave the Army after being given the wrong-sized boots and contracting trench foot is suing the Ministry of Defence for £150,000. Louisa Swanston, 28, was given waterproof boots two sizes too big when she was serving in Bosnia and had to make do with leather boots that failed to cope with the sub-zero temperatures. Ms Swanston left the Army in October after being told the nerve endings in her feet were dead.


Ah, I remember when I was 10 I had to wear my big brothers boots to school, there were also two sizes too big for me. But I was only 10 and never had any military survival training so alls I did was wear an extra pair of socks.

The problem with training people to obey orders without question it seems is they loose the ability to use one's initiative. Sadly it is symptomatic of the country as a whole....

The message it sent me so I'm sure it didn't go unnoticed to our growning list of enemies (thanks Tone for that BTW) but it shows our great army as a bunch of mollycoddled, pampered weaklings with no loyalty to their country.

Last Thursday (I recall it was a Thursday)
I was opening up the business, it musta been around 5 to 9, I stepped outside to raise the shutters. There was in front of me 2 little about-to-be-late-for-school girls and as I stepped outside their mother called on them to hurry along by telling them that I was and I quote "a bad man coming to get them"

Call me uber-sensitive if you like, but I hate it when some single-mom oversleeps as a result of having her 4th one-night-love-affair o'the week and shifts the blame from herself to another. I mean, she could've got her kids to school on time without publicaly labeling me as some sort of a nonce. Or at the least she can explain to her three and four year old simply that she's a slag and isn't fit to look after a.. a... I dunno... a turd, let alone two beautiful children.

But I s'ppose the grueling regime of daytime soaps and ass-sitting must be taking it's toll on her. I would love to have been present at their births... I could have said "hurry up kids, here's a 'bad motha' waiting to fek your life up" bitch.

Is it really easier to instil fear into your children and destroy thier innocence than it is to set your alarm clock 10 minutes earlier? What is with these people already?

You have to laugh, really, honest you do.
I love all these terms they think up to define perfectly normal reactions and conditions we all have in the interest of selling books/keeping Oprah on the air and turning us into obedient consumer drones.

"road rage" has to be among the best of them, really! it's a classic... the old marketing boys musta came buckets over this one boy, I tell ya. The page I've pasted below is fantastic, it tells us how to cope with road rage and how to prevent ourselves from feeling anger towards dangerous drivers, it reminds us that feeling aggression toward these people is a failing in us and we need to work on 'US' in order to eliminate the feared road rage.

If I were to write a road rage book it would be the antithesis of err.. Dr Mike's. I personally feel if some feker pulls out infront of me, thereby cutting my safe braking distance in half, putting my families life in jeopardy, then I may well show that driver my magic finger and I may even tell the bastard or bitch (it might be a lady) all the clever swear words I've picked up over the years.

I wonder if our pal Dr Mike knows how many of the bodies that are scraped up off the motorways are caused by lunatic drivers.... I would estimate it at 100%, I would also estimate him at 'being a pri*k who's cashing in on the term road rage, I'll bet he's also written on battered wife syndrome, post code lotteries and the yetti.

I would write more but obviously my ADHD is kicking in.




read and laugh
the nerve of these people, actually telling us how to feel and react (passively)

PS. buy his book today and receive a free bottle of Haldol.


http://www.hypnosisworld.com/roadrage.html

Muslims kicked off easyJet flight

Four men were escorted off an easyJet flight from Luton Airport on Wednesday following an argument allegedly about where to sit.
According to reports in The Sun, the Asian men dressed in Islamic robes, were arguing in a foreign language and then all went to the toilet one after the other. A fellow traveller on the flight to Glasgow was said to have demanded that they were kicked off as they looked like muslims.

I have never been so ashamed to be Scottish is in all my life... did you get a load of that last line.... because they looked like muslims WTF!... they may well be muslims but incase you didn't know... muslim doesn't equal suicide bomber.

Is it so unusual for people to argue when they board a plane, particulary if they had been propping up the airport bar all afternoon (which would also account for the restroom visits). I have to laugh though at this next line... they were arguing in a foreign language! for christs sakes!

This one article sums up rather nealty almost everything I'm against.

I always find it amusing whenever a petty criminal get's collared and says.. "There are real criminals out there, the police should go after them". It could be a speeding ticket, it could be benefit fraud, they'll always come out with that line when they get nabbed... it's a reflex.

So, this little gem is intended for them.
The traffic police, the fraud investigator, the store detective and the easter bunny all know there are more serious crimes going on. But I'll tell ya, traffic wardens don't go after gunrunners when they finish writing you up and they don't take on organised crime during their lunch breaks neither.

We all know there are far more serious crimes that those you have committed, that's why there are other highly trained men and women working on those cases at the same time you're being fingered for having a busted tail light. Office dibble isn't being taken away from interpol when he's pulling you over Y'know.

It's the same when a drug user has the balls to lecture us that alcohol causes more violence and social disharmony than the particular drug they themselves are on at the time, I've yet to see a drung user who doesn't drink alcohol aswell.
"sure I shoot coke into my big toe, but I draw the line at miller time"

The very idea that we should forget everything apart from the single most serious crime is quite funny if you think about it, maybe it's an attempt at the jedi mind trick... "there are far more serious crimes going on, we don't need to waste our time with habitual criminal"

And then you get the lovable criminal ie. drug dealer who breaks the law but still wants to be your friend who try to justify their low-lifery with this line... see if this rings a bell or two. "if I didn't do it... somebody else would"

so does that mean that drug dealers actually believe there is one less crack slinger in the hood because they sell drugs? what is with that already?

have you ever noticed whenever the media reports a celebrity death they also suggest that a little piece of us should die along with them?

"The nation is in mourning today as news of george burns (is he dead??) bob hope, queen mother yada yada yada.. died peacefully in his sleep... here's a collection of sound bites from exposure seeking mini-celebs we have strung together in order to demonstrate how you (the public) should put your own problems aside for one second and contemplate the tragedy of others for once you selfish sonsofbitchsdhgdjgfhsfd;sl."

I don't know about you lot... So I'm speaking only for myself now. If you happen to share my opinion, then great, we'll get together and have a coffee (you pay) if you don't agree.... well.... you can go back to your gossip mags and daytime tv. So, I don't know about you dear reader but I have many more important things to occupy my time and more causes worthy of my sympathies. Sure, it's sad when somebody dies.... (Take a step back bush & blair I don't include you two in that) but it's far less sad when that person is of a good age, lived a movie star lifestyle and dies from self abuse (get your mind out the gutter will you...not that kind of self abuse you mucky little pup) whilst there are thousands of people dying everyday who don't have the same luxuries of weath, fame etc.

It's just another sympton of that human of condition I like to call 'empty life'

Do me a favour (if I haven't used them all up by now) the next time a 'famous' dies rather than locking yourself away to be sad, try to imagine you're George Bailey from it's a wonderful life and give a homless person some money/food, say hello to a stranger... call your mom, I don't know.. just do something unexpectedly nice for somebody. trust me brothers and sisters, you'll feel just as good as they will plus an angel will get his wings ;-)

HA HA HEE HEE

Hands up whose ever heard someone say "what's for you wont go by you"?... what on earth does that mean? presumably it's some sort of an affirmation to declare 'I believe in fate' or I don't believe in taking responsability for my own life to put it another way.

If my life is crap.. it's fate. someone pissed on my hush puppies.. not someone, FATE, If I cheat on my wife... it's not me doing the cheating.. it's that cheeky little bugger fate again.

do me a favour already!

if you believed that then you would walk across roads without looking, after all, if a cars going to hit you, it's going to hit you right? OH! and you may aswell stop exercising too, cos if you're going to have a heart attact, you'll have one anyway. That is the equalivant of playing russian roulette with every single little aspect of your life. Jeeez-o.. what a risky idealogy to have in life.

But Y'know there's an interesting irony here? this 'what's for you, wont go by you' is generally said by older more conservative people. Who'd have guessed that republicans would promote an adrenaline junkie style of living, but Y'know there is another group who would condone such a hedonistic lifestyle, you might know them as the satanists.

conclusive evidence I think you'll agree ladies and gentlemen that conservatives are indeed devil worshipers

Picture: David Cameron the Leader of the Conservative Party

Look closely at this picture, the sick bastard is actually grinning as he imagines crushing a small child in his hands.

"Carpe Diem, lads! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary!"

I can takes it no more!

Ever since I've became aware of politics, around 25 years. I've been bombarded with promises of great social change, lower tax, better health service, better education, reduced crime and so forth.. THE BIGGIES!!

Both parties have been fighting continually for these changes.. and now, 30 years later, they're still fighting, they haven't managed it. They have both been in the position to make change, they just haven't.

Well, that's not strictly true, there have been some change. Crime levels have risen, as has tax whilst education and health services have both suffered. So there has been some change.. I wouldn't want to take that away from either party... and before I forget the little cherry on the cake, they have make the UK a terrorist target, and just in time for the birth of my little girl... aww... what a present... cheers Tone' mate, remind me to repay you one day, perhaps I can slash your throat or something??

The problem in the UK is that we don't live in a democratic society, Y'see, in order for democracy to exist there needs to be a real choice... and 2 identical parties does not a democracy make. We've been smothered by nanny thatcher and nanny blair for so long that the biggest challenge we face now is convincing joe and joanne public that there are other types of politics out there. If you mention socialism to anyone they'll probably laugh at you, same with comunism.

WE NEED a REAL LABOUR PARTY
a party to represent the working class people or 90% of the population to put it another way. They would win every election no questions ask and all they would have to do is make the world a better place.

I know I know, It sounds so easy when I put it like that, but how on earth would we go about this? I hear you ask. I wont tease you, you know I've already got the solutionso I wont draw it out any longer, I won't ask if it's your final answer, I wont go to a commercial break... OH right.. sorry.

I call it my 5 steps to world peace

1, pull out of iraq and beg for forgiveness. I'm not niave enough to think that will apease the understandable bloodlust, so we may have to give them tony blairs head on a spike, still after all the innocent people he has murdered, he should volunteer. We would give up the nukes, I think the trillions of £££s spent on weapons we will never use could be better spent.

2, there should be NO FREEBIES! ie, free health service, free cash for having children etc... not if you don't need it, I mean. Set a threashold at around £100,000 for example, if you have more than that saved, you use it to pay for things you need... in return you'll get to live in the new and improved UK.

3, I've even thought about about replacing all existing tax with just 1, it's called a pay for what you use tax (or aomething like that.. I'm making this up as I go and I haven't gotten round to the sound bites yet) naturally, those who can afford to pay more tax will.

4, I'm in two minds over this one, because it goes against my instincts, but it's a crowd pleaser and I'm sure it will solve a problem. Prisons become tough, you crims will be locked up for 23,5 hours a day and stiff sentences. 1st offence = 10 years, 2nd = 20 years... my theory is that the perfect world I will have created (barryworld.. bazland.. hmmm, they sound like theme parks) there should be no reason to commit the types of crime that are perpetrated to fund living in the UK (BarryK)

5, free education for all... anyone who wants education should get it, no questions ask.. except for the exam questions at the end of the course.

it might work, I'd like to give it a try, and even if it doesn't work, we can always go back to what we have now... isn't it worth a try, just incase we crack the key to happiness?

I hope this will inspire someone out there to do something, I hope there are people screaming "it'll never work!!" at their monitors because at least it's bringing to light a choice. I just hope there are more people quietly nodding and thinking to themselves.. amen brother, I'm with you.

Just one more thing, if you do put TB's head on a spike, don't tell the judge I told you to do it, COS I didn't. If you do that, you would be murdering SCUM (as bad as TB) and spend your life in my prison.

What now? just check my diary...let's see. Monday 23rd October 2006 write down blue print to solve world problems then have lasagne. SWEET, it's lasagne time for me... mmmmmmmmm.

Whenever you watch the news or pick up a newspaper in the uk you are sure to read about the next biggest threat to our way of life... not bird flu or a meteor heading toward Earth.. I'm talking ofcourse about Asylum seekers and migrant workers. They use phrases such as "millions of foreign workers are poised to pour into the country if poland is allowed join the EU"

Don't look at me like that dear reader, I know you're thinking that migrant workers help boost local economies and through integration they bring about understanding of different cultures which in turn helps erradicate racism.

But I talk to a lot of people on a daily basis and whenever they tell me that they were born here and they shouldn't have to live in the same country as 'these bloody foreigners' I gotta tell you, I tend to agree with them, they shouldn't have to live among them. And as you know I'm a generous bastard I have devised a solution to their problem. This solution is so brilliant infact I give it my personal guarantee to work for every single person who takes my advice... Y'ready?.. okay, here it is.

if you don't want to live in the Uk with foreign nationals... then... why don't you FU*K OFF out the country and then you wont have to.

Y'see what I didn't mention earlier was, when I talk to these zenophobic biggots I ask them why they are against the idea of meeting other people who just happened to be born in another part of the same planet they're from and the reply usualy goes something like this. "they come over here, don't learn the lingo, they take out jobs, they rape "our women" and live of the state and spend their days plotting on ways to steal our belongings".

okay first.. we have already established they speak more languages than we do. they do not take 'our jobs' they take vacant jobs that people in this country are too lazy to do, they don't rape anyone and you're probably gay they support themselves and... eh!! what belongings??

The truth is folks, most foreign people who come to the uk and those who don't for that matter speak more than one language, where as the majority of those with similar opinions as those expressed above hardly speak a single language. I'm not suggesting for one second that some of those who enter the uk aren't monoglotic criminals, I'm sure there will be, all I'm saying is (and don't think that I'm not aware I've been over using the old 'all I'm saying is' phrase and I have already added it to my self edit list). rather than protesting against the slight possibility that criminals will wash up on our shores, why not protest against those criminals that born and bread here in good ol' GB? all the home grown state spongers?

what's with people who hear rumour of foreign do-badders and decide then to HATE all people non brittish, yet at the same time they know first hand that there are many lazy, illeterate, racist freeloaders living right next door and yet they do nothing?


I sigh sometimes ;-(

Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

"...Of course there are kids bringing guns to school who want to establish a "tough guy-gangsta" image more than they want to shoot someone. Yes, kids report that this is the only way they feel they can gain respect..."

what's with all these kids already? they listen to eminem and suddenly adopt a bizzare method of speaking. Case in point.. I seen an Aaron Carter on MTV cribs the other night... he lives in a sprawling estate in miami, yet he talks like he's 'straigh outa compton.' He quite litteraly went from Alex P Keaton to 50 pence piece overnight.

Luckily in the UK guns aren't the social problem that they are in the states... not yet. So this shout goes out to all my pimps and biyatches accross the USofA. If you really want to gain some respect through killing somebody... KILL YOURSELF. afterall everybody respects the dead.

dana na na nah
I'm not lovin it.. not one little bit

I popped into Mc D's the other day just in time to see some mother chastise her son for mis-behaving (running around and screaming.. Y'know the type of thing... it happens a lot in McDougals)

I have no idea why you're behaving like this... now come back here, sit down and eat your chemicals... quoth the mother. below

Virgin Records
Glasgow Feb 26 2005

SALE!
August & everything After £15.99

SALE?

When were CD's ever £15.99 in the first place?

So I download it for free and burn it to a cd costing 10 pence.

I figure if the music industry can sleep at night... then so can I.

ATTENTION ALL NERDS

I am looking for a copy of Eightball # 3

to complete my collection.

I said to my wife I would simply ask the kind people of internet land to come together and help me out, either by sending me one (which would be ace) or just as good by informing me where I can purchase a copy. I have checked every comic store in Glasgow, London, New York and Taipei... and she said I was talking jobbies, she said that NOBODY would do a favour for a perfect stranger unless you massage their anomalies (in your case that would be your extreme NERDISM... no offense)

Between you and I dear friend, I would nerver 'nerd it up' in order to get a comic book... never... no way... not me... I will simply put my plea to you in my own words.. without a hint of nerd

Fellow Nerds: Years ago, I started collecting 'Eightball' in the Clone Wars; now I beg you to help me in my struggle against the publishers. I regret that I am unable to present my collection request to you in person; but my web-cam has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to a full collection has failed. I've placed information vital to the completion of the eightball series into the memory systems of this blog unit. you know how to retrieve it. You must see this blog safely delivered to people on the internet. This is my most desperate hour. Help me, nerdlings; you're my only hope.

MEN ON THE MOON!!!

next you'll be telling me there are portable communication devices so small it can fit in your pocket.

I'm pretty open minded and believe in many things True Love, Angels and Eskimos but there is nothing to convince me that man actually walked on the moon. There are plenty of reasons not to believe it, which can be found all over the net.

http://www.apfn.org/apfn/moon.htm

I'm not going to get into the technical points such as the two different light sources, the angle of the camera lens and varying depths of field... I may be a nerd, but I'm not a f*****g nerd (or Otaku for any Japanese readers)

The one fact the really kills me, which I can't reason my way around is this. And keep in mind that all the moon landing happened before we have the technology to actually see it happening 'real time' NO MOON LANDINGS SINCE!... so anyway back to my point.

We all know how delicate the conditions need to be before a shuttle/rocket launch and even strong winds can cause months of delay... SHIT.. my mind has betrayed me yet again friends, and has already made the jump to light-speed I can't concentrate on getting this out in an inteligable way... **switch to question mode**

1, Giving the difference in gravity... how could they be sure of the calculation of reverse thrust etc for actually landing the damn thing?

2, Ditto for take off. And where was all the rocket fuel needed for takeoff?

3, Why have we NEVER gone back?.. OH and before you say, well there's nothing there, so why bother going back? remember these words DON'T BE SO FUC*ING STUPID, man spends years and billions of pounds getting to the moon, man actually achieves this monumental goal, man walks around for 20 minutes and decides it was all a waste of time, let's never go back.

some people really do believe everything they are told...

now excuse me... I'm off to Jupiter for lunch with adolf hitler and Genghis Khan

HI, I'm sherriff John Bunnell.

If I lived next door to this man, I would get him to record my cell phone answer message... I can imagine it now.

Hi, I'm Barry's answer machine.
he's not here right now,
He's tearing up suburbian streets in a stolen SUV, turning them into his own private parking lot.
Don't worry, for the brave men and women of law enforcement wont rest until he's aprehended, then you will be able to talk that call missing, car stealing road running lunatic.... behind 2 inch steel bars, at the county lock-up.


I don't think there could be a better answer message than that?

You only live once
so you may as well do what you want...


how often have you heard someone say that?
Even if you don't believe in reincarnation, is that really a reason to 'do what you want'? which, incase you didn't realise.. is code for 'act slutty'

It's statements like these that get me my old grey matter working, The first time I heard that expression, I remember thinking to myself... shucks!! if we only live once... we better make sure we get things done right the first time around, no second chances and all. Still, I couldn't help but wonder, had I just been programmed by the government to obey and had I lost any sense of rebellion I once had... doubt it!! but after all, we humans are just animals and it may not be in the interests of evolution to surpress our animalistic tendencies, but then again, that's irrelevant as there is no pre-destined model it's whatever action we take now that will shape our species evolution and where does it say evolution can't be influenced by social forces as well as environmental. A heightened social concience may well be the next evolutioniary step... having said that ofcourse... fingers shaped like clothes pegs could also be next... nobody knows?

that all sounds a little bit manic, then again, they propbably said that about nostradamus and Ike, only time will tell.

maybe in 300, 000 years time, people will read this blog (because they sure ain't reading it now) and they might think... hmm what's with that then?

Hurry along now, take your seats and NO TALKING in class.

Welcome to simple logic lesson 1

What's with all these "courteous drivers" all of a sudden?

Have you ever been stuck behind one of these morons? Well I am on a daily basis and I'm here to tell ya. They would far better drivers if they were a little more selfish (a la moi)

I'm driving to work each day. I leave the house in a positive mood, I have jimmy barnes playing on my i-pod, everything is fine... right?

Wrong, I, along with all the other road users will inevitably get stuck behind 'the courteous driver'. One minute you're driving along fine and then without any warning what-so-ever the car infront slows down to a stop to let the old boy turning right go before him (and the rest of us)... okay.. I'll let that go.

But 200m down the road, he'll stop again to let someone coming the other way make a right turn, then a further 300m later he'll stop to let a family of ducks cross the road...

Here's the deal folks.. If you really want to be a courteous driver, there is no logic in making way for 1 car if you're going to delay the 20 cars behind you... so next time you plan on holding a ramdom stopathon, do humanity a favour and check your mirrors (it's kinda what they effing are for Y'see).

what is with the governments anti-dvd piracy propoganda already?

here are a few FACTs that the Federation Against Copyright Theft fail to mention.

1, FACT will lead you to believe they are filmed in cinemas and the quality is terrible

in reality, many dvds are direct copies from originals either bought or preview copies distributed to production companies, distributers etc. Also with new and expensive digital cameras recordings within the cimena are excellent quality (better than VHS) also they are filmed by cinema employees when the theatre is empty so you do not get the silouettes of big headed patrons along the bottom of the screen.

2, FACT tell us that you do not get a refund from these del-boy traders

in reality, they will be more than happy to exchange any damaged or faulty disc. Discs cost pennies and I have yet to see any street trader argue about accepting returns.

3, FACT claim that the proceeds of pirate dvd sales goes to fund organised crime and international terrorism

in reality, this is bullshit. C'mon... why is it whenever they get desperate they play the organised crime card, and more recently they've replaced that with terrorism. They may as well tell us that if we buy a copy of superman returns that gangs of paedophiles will take over the planet. The majority of dvd merchants are ordinary working class folks with a dvd writer and a broadband connection trying to make a quick buck for his family.

Hands up who's seen the video piracy is a crime advert in cinemas? Y'know the one... "you wouldn't steal a car.. you wouldn't steal a wallet... you wouldn't steal from a friend... you wouldn't steal from a poor little old lady... downloading movies is a crime"

pretty emotive stuff I'm sure you'll agree... but hold on a second... put your tissues away for a minute.

2004 WORLDWIDE GROSS PROFITS FOR SIX STUDIOS

(Billions of dollars)

SEGMENT Gross Revenue (MPA) Cost of Sales & Residuals Margins Gross Profits
Theatrical $7.4 $9.62 ($2.22)

(DVD & VHS) $20.9 $6.95 $13.95

Television $17.7 $1.77 $15.93

so, there we have it. In 2004 the 6 major hollywood studios made just under 30 billion dollars profit. How much did you make that year dear reader?

remember these figures the next time you see the "you wouldn't steal from a poor innocent old lady would you?" and Y'know something else... if I were somehow able to receive a sequence of intangible binary digits from a faceless and ruthless 'old lady' I think I probably would....... now that they put it that way.

it would appear to me.. an impartial and objective bystander that charging johnny consumer £20 ($40) for a dvd which cost 2p to make is the real theft. Who remembers when dvd's came out and they all told us that they were more expensive than VHS because of "production costs".. but hold it... we all know that VHS costs far more to produce than DVD so why the disproportionate retail prices still?

WWTA?

why is it that the ones who know the least
always seem to know it the loudest?

I'm not doing something I'm supposed to do, I'm doing something I'm not supposed to I don't know about that I don't know about that I don't know nothing bout nothing like that. Destroyed my people are destroyed. My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge I wonder if I'm happy wonder if I'm mad I wonder why the whole wide world's so wonderfully sad I don't know 'bout that but I can tell you this That when I drink a lot of beer y'know I gotta piss...off People should be pissed off People should be pissed off for lack of knowledge. Read read read read read read read everything can read and learn learn learn learn learn learn learn Everything can learn Cause there's no tomorrow like today and There's no today like tomorrow and they will stick And they will stick you... in the end.

RELIGION SCHMRILIGION

As we already know, 100% of wars fought, do so in the name of religion (not including wars that involve 'the wild west' because we also know they are all financially motivated) I'm talking about wars based om beliefs and not greed.

I live in west central Scotland, just a hop, skip and a jump away from the land of Leprechauns, shamrock, Guinness, horses running through council estates, toothless simpletons, people with eyebrows on their cheeks, badly tarmacced drives ? in this country, men in platform shoes being arrested for bombings, lots of rocks, and Beamish. So it goes without saying there is a high proportion of catholic impersonators around these here parts.

I know dozens of people who call themselves catholics, but I've yet to meet anybody who actually follows catholocism, or who even follows their own miss-guided interpretation of catholocism. So I thought, wouldn't it be great if the middle-east could follow religion with the apathy we westernes seem to?

People aren't what they say they are, what they say they are is merely what they would like to be. They want the status without the hard work... just look at your politicians... they all promise less crime, less tax, better health service et al... 50 years of that shit and we're still a million miles away from it... we can afford it as a country... it's just political parties can't afford it. If we did manage to create the utopian society we all crave, there would be nothing to campaign against, it's got clockwork orange written all over it... a real horror show my little droogies.. YES!

In reality, people just want to be needed, or just need to be wanted... however you like to put it, call it saftey in numbers, call is heard mentality... so, with these facts in mind... people from various religions, beliefs, backgrounds are all essentially the same, aren't we?

I can understand that geography has made the middle east a volitile region with earthquakes, volcanos etc and that thousands of years ago people didn't know about earth plate movements and I suppose without the benefit of all the accumulated knowledge we have at our disposal today I can imagine (at a stretch) how these geographical phenomon could be mistaken for an ANGRY GOD and result in more committed followers... that's fine.... I would just like to see that same committment when following the 'love everybody' part.

love letter to anonymous

My Dearest Darling Anonymous comment leaver. Has it really been two days since you left your message of praise for me to find in your absense, has it really only been two days?

NO, it's been 6 hours, and if you leave any more and attach links to your sponsor sites, I'll delete them all.

Kapeesh?

Love as always

Your beloved blog master

Charles Darwin said:

"I have called this principle, by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved, by the term Natural Selection."

I was thinking about this theory the other day as I watched COPS (of all things) and I realised that these COPS, these enforcers of the law, who by virtue of their uniform or their GUNS are regarded as higher beings, either morally or in relation to their 'clients' by intelligence and strength (in numbers) after all the police force is the largest gang in the world... and anybody who wants power that badly should not be allowed it... but that's a whole other blog.

as a side note... have you ever noticed that the cops always shout to the suspect "get on the ground, GET ON THE GROUND" as though they are levitating just above ground level, like a cute little humming bird.. that err... just stabbed somebody... and once this gravity defying suspect is in custody (and this bit really annoys me) they exchange sentences littered with double negatives.

cop: you don't got no weapons or no drugs on you do you?
humming bird: no man! I don't got nothing on me!

So back to my point... Darwins notion of survival of the fittest is as bullshit today as it was 100 years ago.... therefore I have taken the liberty of evolving his idea and re-wording it as follows (as you will remember I am a generous fool). "survival of the smartest". Y'see, the human race has evolved more in the last 100 years than in the 100,000 years before it. reality tv placates us, computers make us lazy, and junk food weakens us... to be the strongest nowadays is no mean feat, and I may be playing into a stereotype here (but so what it's my blog and I'll twist the truth so suit my nonsense if I want to) but if you have ever watched the documentary series of films that tackle the issue of revenge of the nerds, you will know that the nerds always triumphs and becomes the jocks boss down at the tire factory.

Trust me, I know this for a fact....I'm fortunate enough to have the brain of a nerd and the body of a jock (Y'smell that?)

Violet is todays colour of tangent

READ THIS IF YOU WORK IN A COFFEE SHOP

I'm not one to tell others how to do their jobs... but if you work in a coffee shop, I'd like to take this oppertunity to tell you how to do your job. to put it simply, I'd like to remind Y'all that there is a difference between a latte and a cappuccino.

So while you ponder the error of your ways.. remember this also... do not automatically overload my cap with chocolate powder. I've lost count of the number of times I've watched my cappuccino turn to a lattee and then a hot chocolate in the space of 20 seconds. Here's a tip.. offer chocolate by all means, but also offer cinnimon or hazelnut etc... after all, people are paying top-dollar and it wouldn't kill you to sprinkle a little service on top.

Oh, and while I'm at it, if I return my choco-latte and ask you to make the cappuccino I requested, don't moan about it... it's not my fault.

this one below just looks like some kind of a dirty protest. who on earth would order this?

hmmm Whaddya know, I am one to tell others how to do their jobs after all... what's with that?

DO DRUGS DO DRUGS DO DRUGS

who can tell me what school drug education consists of these days?... when I was a schoolie I knew nothing about drugs (apart from what I learned on the A-Team) it went something like this... YOUR GOVERNMENT HAS TOLD YOU NO TO DO DRUGS.. and we pretty much didn't. It was a simple as that.

I didn't know ANYbody who was on drugs back then. NOW with all the information and education we have available today, we seem to have much more drug users in our society. So I'm asking you... does ignorance breed blissful communities?

Without going into all the supposed factors contributing to junkie-ness, such as poverty, unemployment, family background, lack of education, more drugs available and all the others we are told are the cause, not to mention all the wasted tax dollars spent trying to clean matters up. They all highlight what we know already ... Politicians are completely out of touch with the pockets of society they are merrily pledging our cash to.

Rather than having the same old commercial of the stereotypical friendless drug user (played by that actor who used to be in that program) with no money.. because lets' face it, HOLLYWOOD will hump any government sponsored anti-drug campaign every time.

"HEY HEY HEY" I hear you say "why so pessimistic?, that's not like you"

Don't worry my children... I wouldn't spread all this doom and gloom without having a solution on hand, Y'know that. Where as your government will find new and inventive ways of wasting your money all in the name of ridding your streets of crack, smack, H, speed, PCP, acid, ecstasy and goof-balls, making no difference whatsoever... I have a solution that will be infinately more effective yet costing you (the tax payer and devoted reader of my blog) nothing.

Rather than sending government funded drug advisors to receite the government of the days schpeel to school kids on the perils of drug abuse... I suggest we send this burd (see below) around every school in the country and force all the children to listen to her tale... AND.. this is the clincher.. we could line the kids up.. blindfolded (that's not cruel.. so don't start) and we force them to run their smooth little fingers along her arms... (ok so that part is a little bit cruel... but I think you'll agree the ends justify the means in this case)

WITHOUT FURTHER A-DO

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
BE SEATED

AND BEHOLD

FOR I BRING TO YOU

JUNKIE

HERE ENDITH THE BLOG

TONY BLAIR GUILTY OF GROOMING CHILDREN

Y'know, having a child has made me examine society from a whole new perspective. How often do we hear the news that 26 people die in a suicide bomb attack, but even more tragic that that, one of them was a... wait for it.... a 'kid'.

The media tell us to feel positive when youth offenders are 'treated' to rehabilitation holidays on johnny taxpayers dime because they are becoming productive members of society, but if that rehabilitation dollar is spent on a non-child we should be.. for want of a better word.. gutted.

YOUR GOVERNMENT promise to invest more of your money on treating juvinile drug users, because they have 'an illness' and need your support.. but don't you dare contract this illness if you are over 18, unless you want the support of your new cell mate BIG STAB!

If I had to say what I think is going on here, and before you say "you're just cynical", let me say "I'm not" but if I had to say what I think is going on here, I would say that the governemt have cultivated a society where children listen less and less to their parents.. meanwhile they are waiting in the wings with the preverbial bag of candy ready to keep them kiddies sweet until such time they start voting for this generous uncle-like figure, at which point they will be cut loose like their parents before them.

All people in the world (for the sake of this blog I'll use UK) all people in the UK should be treated equally. You either invest in people of all ages or you don't bother. Why should we welcome investment in 20% of the population without asking what about the other 80%?

Call me crazy.. no infact don't call me that.. I don't like it... but I for one will not be allowing any government to raise my daughter in their image. This government... a government so corrupt both morally and professionally, YET still so drunk on their power they actually believe themselves to be suitable role models for 'our children'... well "they're not"

role model?

.

I would think not

deputy prime minister of UK John Prescott (had lots of affairs)

no really.. he did

honestly.. him

I'm serious

no joke

him

Due to popular demand I am reluctantly putting some of my scribbles on this here blog-o-mine. This is a typical example of the emails I've been receiving requesting, infact begging me to put some drawings on here.

"dear handsome and talented blog master, you mention in your profile that you are a pretty good artist, please would you be so kind as to let us bask in your talent and modesty" *

* no such email requests have been received to date.

P.S. has anybody picked up on the few lines from movies I have used throughout this blog I wonder.

either I've got too much time on my hands or I'm a blog-aholic...


it must be the latter...


I drink about 3 bottle of 'blog' per day

YOU RACIST!!!

Boy oh Boy, nothing brings out the racism in the media like international sports events, particularly those who's aim is to STAMP OUT RACISM in sports... kinda makes you wonder if all higher powers are institutionally racist... at least, that's what I took from recent BBC's coverage of the world cup and Wimbledon.

All neighbouring towns, cities, countries and solar systems have rivalries, it's probably in our DNA to compete in order to push ourselves to achieve, thereby advancing the entire human race to a higher level.

ANYway, Jack McConnell, Scotlands first minister... Publicly stated he was supporting Trinidad & Tobago in the 2006 world cup finals, partly due to the rivalry thing we have already discussed, partly due to them being the underdogs and because they have Jason SCOTLAND playing for them and as Scotland the country did not qualify, we can in a sense still support Scotland.

This is the response he received from the TIMES newspaper no less.

"World Cup snub by Scots leader 'fuels anti-English racism

'By David Lister, Scotland Correspondent

AN ENGLAND football fan living in Scotland blamed the countryÂ’s First Minister yesterday for stoking anti-English racism after his windows were smashed because he was displaying the St GeorgeÂ’s flag.

Amid rising fears that Scotland may be boycotted by tourists from south of the Border over Jack McConnell's refusal to support England in the World Cup, Allan Robinson, 44, accused the First Minister of putting English people living in Scotland at risk..."

Leaving aside for one second that question 'would you rather have a political leader who speaks honestly or one who speaks only what you want to here, and who secretly believes the opposite?' and leaving aside that fact that we live in a democracy and we are free to support whichever side we like, and let's also leave David Lister aside (if that is her real name ((see red dwarf))) for the time being and let's move seamlessly onto the beeb.

Once England were knocked out of the world cup for playing like a bunch of one legged geriatrics, I personally heard a bbc news reader's candid reaction to this as "well as long as the Germans don't win".

Let's get it straight shall we... Jack McConnell said he was supporting Trinidad and Tobago, that is not Anti-English... only the British media would describe a man supporting a foreign team as a racist.. does that seem a little contrary to anyone else but me?

Forget the invisible lines that have been drawn on a map, forget the bodies of water that separates the patches of dirt we live on, forget the colour of peoples skin and the languages they speak... there is only one human race and it was a team of human beings he was supporting the last time I checked.

So please STOP making up news stories and report what is real... what's with you already?

As Y'all know... sorry, scratch that ALL, there's only a couple of people who actually read this rubbish and I believe I've managed to offend one of them, in my defense though, he is a vegetarian and we all know they're not the hardest bunch to offend, and it was completely unintentional, I have never tried to wind anybody up on purpose.

As you know (my one true remaining friend) I have a lovely little baby and as all parents do, I tend to worry about every aspect of her life and I'll do whatever it takes to help her lead a full and happy life. My wife and I have opened a savings acocunt for her education, we've planned music lessons (she's going to be a musician Y'see), ballet class (she's going to be a dancer Y'know), golf lessons (she'll be a golf pro too)... ANYway, my point is this.

This young chap is Sydney Devine and I grew up listening to his music, and looking back I think it has influenced my life. When I was a teenager and all my freiends were listening to Debbie Gibson* I was listening to Jimmy Barnes, John Farnham & the Jayhawks... my frinds are all either dead, in jail or drug addicts**

There's a point in there somewhere but I've either forgotten it or... lousy short term concentrati... HEY did I ever tell you about the time I drove to Dundee in my bare feet?

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* I have all Debbie Gibsons CD's

**none of them are deceased, jailed or addicted to drugs

Disclaimer

Well folks, you were right, it was inevitable, Y'all warned me when I started this blog, you said it would happen, but I didn't listen, like the optimistic son of a gun that I am. But you were right all along, next time I'll listen to you, boy oh boy I'll listen to you next time. The pseudo sensitive have taken offense to what I, me, a perfect stranger types on a screen and decided to voice their disagreement in the only way they know how... by instigating petty arguements, which is fine and dandy, but get this, they're even using my blog to do it... the swines!!

If you don't like what you read here, that's okay. Go somewhere else. I'm not in the market to argue or debate with every disagree-er that surfs my way.

I am personally uber-bored with people who define themselves by what they are against, How about for a change, they do something productive and be for something, anything, just something.

"Hi what do you do?"

"well I'm against hunting and people drinking alcohol, and eating meat, and this and that... and well basically I'm against anything that the banning of wouldn't affect me in the slightest.... how about you?"

"me? dear reader, well since you ask, I'm only against.... you"

Y'see folks, I might rant away on here for 10 minutes at a time, call it my therapy if you will, but p-p-p-p-please don't get the impression I'm only like this, because that would be 99% wrong. There are millions of other sites on this here internet far more deserving of your precious time, so please don't let me keep you from them.

I wonder if I've made myself clear enough?... ho hum.. time will tell.

memo to all vegetarians: chicken & fish are not vegetables

who's ever seen the film FACE OFF with Nicholas Cage?... or perhaps you've just seen it with your friends. No matter who you saw it with... it got me to wondering if two people could realy switch identities like that?

I know it's just a film so there is absolutely no possibly way anything like that could EVER happen..ever .... is there?

Meet Tony the prime minister of the United Kingdom

He's ordered the death of innocent people allegedly, he's not a bad man... he's only doing his job* allegedly

Now meet BONO the rock star

He has raised millions for the poor and starving of the world. Has lobbied tirelessly to cancel 100bn (that's one hundred billion folks) in third world debt and not only that, he's also given us rattle & hum.

*I do not mean to imply that BONO randomly kills innocent people, or any people for that matter, nor do I mean to imply that Tony Blair has ever performed life changing acts of compassion, or any acts of compassion for that matter. I don't even know what the point of this entry is... it's just weird is all. That we look to our rock stars and not our elected leaders in order to make real political change.