It's Wednesday 14th June 2006, I'm sitting here at work looking out the window the sun is shining, the locals are amusing themselves and I'm blogging it out here, pondering the age old question 'should life mean life'?

I should be able to let it go at that, BUT NO!!!
Each and every time some silly paeodaphile rapes a kid or some jive-ass junkie stabs somebody you will hear the masses demand that life imprisonment should mean that the offender remain behind bars for ever and ever and ever...I have only two words to say about that... YOU'RE and WRONG

...but I'm a generous fool sometimes, so I'll go along with it for the sake of extending this blog-cast (is that even the correct terminology?).
Imagine that I decided that working for a living was for squares and it was a life of crime for me from here on in. I then decide to rob a bank/post office/corner shop/whatever, presumably I would prefer not to be picked up by the rozzers (insert your own joke.. Y'see told you I was a generous ol' so and so) so I bring along a weapon, the very same weapon I would need in the first place in order for the clerk to part with the cash they had unwittingly been holding for me.
The clever ones among you will already see where this is going.... don't take it personally if you don't... I still love you.
SO.. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get the money and escape with it, even if I hadn't planned on killing someone as most robbers don't plan on becoming murderes... it kinda goes with the territory.

I wouldn't want johnny law locking me up for the rest of my natural so the probability of some trooper being killed would drastically increase (just ask our American cousins if you doubt it) who all carry guns and have high gun crime, as opposed to the UK where we are not allowed to carry guns and by some wonderful coincidence we have almost zero gun crime.

As I'm still running with the herd here, I'll go you on further... I'm now behind bars... do you honestly believe I'm going to think twice about killing every prisoner or guard that comes anywhere near me? I've already killed once and there's nothing to lose by doing it again... hell, I'm probably getting a liking for it.

BUT BUT BUT I hear you say.. life in prison would only be for murder, perhaps for rape... again, if a raper were to commit his or her act and they knew life in prison would be their destiny, they would kill the victim to prevent them from identifying them.

So dear reader if you care to chip in your 2 cents.. feel free.

I can't Believe I got through this entry without writing WHAT'S WITH THAT ALREADY?... ooops spoke too soon ;-)

What's with our journalists already?

Have Y'all ever noticed how, when something major happens like 9/11 for example and you tune your telly box to the news channel in order to get the inside scoop and find out exactly what's going on, usually they will have some experts share their knowledge in order to shed light on the possible reasons behind the story so we can then sleep easy and begin to understand humanity and eventually evolve... fine

So riddle me this reader... why is it that more and more the experts are being replaced with pop stars, tv actors and footballers?

TONIGHT'S HEADLINES
WAR BREAKS OUT ALL OVER THE WORLD.
BBC12 have an exclusive interview with Maureen from that telly show Driving School (remember her? the foul mouthed, reckless driver from Wales)

Reporter: Now tell us 'Mo' what do you make of all this war?
Mo: Well I don't think they should be allowed to do it.. it's bad... but as long as it doesn't stop me driving in my car.. blah blah blah













Maureen well & truely milking her 15 minutes

There you have it, you heard it here first.. some moron thinks along the same lines as a 5 year old.

NEXT UP TONIGHT
30,000 DIE IN AFRICAS WORST FAMINE FOR 100 YEARS
We sent ex-boy bander Brad somebodyorother to find out exactly what's going on.

Reporter: well Brad, you better tell us what's happenin'
Brad: Well I don't think they should be allowed to do it.. it's bad... oh!! buy my new cd by the way "baby I love you" out Monday... blah blah blah

You get my drift right... STOP DUMBING EVERYTHING DOWN ALREADY

Troops cleared over Iraq drowning

Three soldiers have been found not guilty of the manslaughter of an Iraqi boy, at a Colchester court martial.
The trio had all denied the manslaughter of 15-year-old Ahmed Jabber Kareem, a non-swimmer who drowned in a Basra canal in May 2003.


Finally the courts get something right...
Woah woah woah, now don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning the drowning of Iraqi teenagers or any other act of violence come to that. And I do believe that those who are ultimately responsible for acts of violence must be held accountable.. but... ladies and gentlemen of the jury I ask you, who are the guilty?

Sure.. we BOO the soldiers for treating their enemies like... well like enemies. We don't want to hear stories about prisoners being beaten, tortured or being photographed in little more than their Kalvins...

But hold on... your elected representatives have spent millions of your pounds turning your innocent wide eyed children into ruthless efficient KILLBOTS. They then have the audacity to condemn them for following their orders... WHAT'S WITH THAT ALREADY?.... perhaps they should have ordered them to love instead.

Here's the scoop ladies and gentlemen... how can we expect private 11054789001 to behave like a humanitarian and not the hired killer our government has made him. How can we expect our killers to behave "professionally" when we give them guns, drop them off at the nearest war-zone, point them in a certain direction, pat them on the head and say GO KILL JOHNNY.

These murdering politicians then have the hypocrisy to condemn the few for violating the enemies human rights... let me ask you a little question here, cos I'm worried I'm loosing some of you. What would you prefer.

Option 1: being beaten up and having some naked photos taken of you and passed around the barracks.
or
Option 2: being shot in the face with armor piercing rounds.

One of these options will violate your human rights the other will not. Now we all know which option BUSH & BLAIR prefer and if I could ask them just one question, it would be this... IS IT AT ALL F*%$#@G POSSIBLE TO KILL SOMEBODY WITHOUT VIOLATING THEIR HUMAN RIGHTS?

PRAYER TO ST. PETER

Let them in Peter
For they are very tried
Give them couches where the angles sleep
And light those fires
Let them wake whole again
To brand new dawns
Fired by the sun
Not war-time bloody guns
May their peace be deep
Remember where the broken bodies lie
God knows how young they were
To have to die
Give them things they like
Let them make some noise
Give dance hall bands not golden harps
To these our boys
Let them love Peter
For they've have no time
The should have bird songs and trees
And hills to climb
The taste of Summer
in a ripened Pear
And girls sweet as meadow wind
with flowing hair
And tell them how they are missed
But say not to fear
It's gonna be all right With us down here

Hi
My name is Barry... And I'm a big brother watcher.
Needless to say the producers have outdone themselves again this year in rounding up the most outrageous collection of ADHD "sufferers". Along with the obligatory transexuals and opinionated morons that are the staple of any 'reality show' this year they have introduced a tourette's sufferer called Pete (who is actually the only one in there I could be friends with)

Why am I boring you with tales of tourette's and baffling you with official sounding terms like ADHD you might be wondering. Well dear reader.. I'll tell you. Say Hi to Lisa here, she is the 'strong female character' of the show. In reality she is a chain smoking gutter mouth and let's not forget deeply annoying individule. Anybody would be forgiven for thinking she had tourette's... she doesn't... she just has no idea how to communicate with actual people.

NOW don't get me wrong, I'm all for equality.. you know that, but I'm also for the evolution of the human race. Why do women think being equal to men means behaving like the worst example of a man? If Emeline Pankhurst could have seen what would result from her sacrifices, she would have kept her mouth shut! or at the least she would have said..... WHAT'S WITH THAT ALREADY???

Above: Emeline laments the irony that 'feminists' are now the least feminine looking group on the planet... WWTA

I shouldn't really have to say anything about this one... However. What is with this guy already? His name is Paul Shaffer (I don't care about the spelling) and I just came across him recently (figuratively speaking) whilst channel surfing. He's on the David Letterman show and provides all the musical segue's.

I don't think I've ever witnessed a more disturbing sight than when this guy revs up for action. I am forced to turn the channel as soon as it's hideous form invades my screen. This particular picture really captures the essence of my phobia. First of all, it shows the shaffer in it's natural habitat. The more observant amongst you will have already spotted the "slap me" expression on the front of it's head aswell as the uncontrolled flailing arm as it executes a simple chord.

I must end this post abruptly as I suddenly feel quite sick...